I’ve always felt a sense of being a lost human. Without school or keeping a miserable job; (I’ve been blessed to have been out of work since the pandemic), I increasingly felt like I had no direction. I’ve always felt like I was pointlessly acting on things that had nothing to do with me. What real value did it add to my life? Time goes by and I look back and wonder what I even did for myself. Let’s keep it real. I had this job as a nail technician and I hated it; but it brought me a decent amount of money. I wanted to quit but didn’t know how. So now that the worldly illness has forced this action upon me to actually quit my job, I have sat and thought about it and boldly decided that I was NEVER going back. I was out of my mind the most unsatisfied person ever and was so depressed, sitting there every single day of my life at my work station feeling so unfulfilled. Why would I ever put myself through that again?
Here I am, typing out my emotions on my computer screen.
I am in a better space.
I am learning how to create my happiness.
I am exploring how to spend my time.
I am re-learning what is important to me and what lights my soul on fire.
Singing has always been something I rediscover over and over again. When I take breaks from it for a long period of time, I come back so surprised and more in love each time. I question myself all the time how could I have ever ignored it? This beautiful part of me. This ability that I have to create the purest content feeling I could ever have with myself. Sometimes I end up believing that it’s all I really have in this life.
This past week has not been so stable but I’ve managed to stay on track with my goals. I’ve made mental notes in my head that I needed to stick with a schedule in order to accomplish some things. By the end of each week I needed to have created, edited, and exported. I am so proud for not bailing on myself this week because there were times where I had the thought of slacking off or of trying to convince myself that it was okay to break my momentum just because I was in a bad mental space.
Yesterday, I was able to have completed putting my visual together for my song. I had went to the beach to specifically film for this video. I’ve added the captions for the song lyrics and made a successful upload for Youtube and Soundcloud on Friday!
soundcloud: @ lovexmiko
instagram: @ _xmiko